A Night at the Beets Motel
by stuckymarvelbuckycaptian
Summary: Photographer Ryan makes an interesting discovery when he stumbles upon the Beets Motel.


A Night At the Beets Motel - A Threesome or Murder?

It was a stormy night when Ryan decided to drive to an abandoned motel. The silhouette of the motel was foggy and dark. Stopping in the driveway, Ryan stepped out of his shiny, new, Volkswagen Bug. He admired the building which he didn't know it housed the murderer. So obviously he had to go inside.

At the door, someone peeked out through the crack. Unbeknownst to Ryan, the motel was still open. So he whipped out his Canon 50 Mark III DSLR and started snapping away. The door opened wide and revealed a tall old man staring down at him. Ryan didn't notice this disturbance in the force until he scrolled through his camera roll.

"Hey man that shot turned out great!" Ryan grinned at the old man.

The old man waved at Ryan, beckoning him inside.

"Okay. Where are we going? My name is Ryan. Whats your name?"

The old man did not reply, but simply handed him a keycard and continued down the hallway.

"What is this key for? I didn't know this place was even still up and running. I just wanted to snap a few shots. What did you say your name was? My name is Ryan."

"Creed." Was all the man said before leading Ryan to his room, which had a sign reading "Agricultural Room" on the door.

"You can stay here," Creed said opening the door. "It's $80 a night. Enjoy your stay." Inside the room was two twin beds, one with a tall, dark haired man laying naked on it.

"Whats going on?" Ryan was shocked but shrugged it off, he'd been to motels with weird predicaments. "My name is Ryan. Whats your name?"

"Ah, sorry about this," the man said, covering his unmentionables. "I'm Jim, I guess we're rooming for the night." He took one hand from covering his dick and reached out to shake Ryan's hand, who happily obliged.

Ryan decided that being naked must be in the motels rulebook, so he stripped down, threw his camera on the empty bed, then lay down next to Jim.

"You should know I'm married," Jim told Ryan, slight worry on his face.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and it swung open before either of them could say anything. An average heighted man stood in the doorway, holding a pitchfork in one hand, a bundle of beets in the other.

"Sorry boys, didn't mean to interrupt." The man said. "I'll let you get back to your coitus." He began shutting the door before another man walked up behind him. "Mose, we need to give these boys some privacy."

"Wait!" Ryan stopped them. "There is another bed in here."

The man stopped to consider his options. A threesome, or murder? He threw down his pitchfork and beloved beets, sauntering over to the other bed.

Mose stood in the doorway, unsure what to do. Dwight was his cousin, but damn, did he look good naked.

"Whats your names by the way? This is Jim, we just met. I'm Ryan!"

"I'm Dwight, this is Mose. Now that we're all introduced, lets get to it." Dwight and Mose followed Ryan and Jim's example and got rid of their clothes. Dwight goes to throw the garments out the window, but when he opens it, a redheaded woman is standing on the roof outside the window.

"Mind if I join?" The woman asked, a smirk on her lips.

"Sure thing! Whats your name? This is Jim and Dwight and Mose. Also, my name is Ryan!" He cheered.

Creed comes barging in, holding a bowl full on condoms. "Don't start without me!" he yelled.

"We need more space!" Jim yelled over everyone.

"I know! Lets go to the barn." Mose suggested.

"Good idea! Fun fact: straw is very comfortable and keeps the body temperature at a steady rate. Thats why cows use it for beds. Also, its delicious!" Dwight commented.

*Meredith: I'm already regretting this. At least I can get some free condoms.*

They all go to the barn, and are surprised to find there was already an orgy going on! Sweet!

"Hey everyone! I'm Ryan and this is Jim, Mose, Dwight, Creed, and Meredith!" Ryan told everyone cheerily. "What are your names?"

They all ignored him and got back to business.

"Come on buddy," Jim said, pulling him to a secluded corner of the barn. Before they could do anything, Dwight had an announcement.

"There are 13 booby traps hidden in this barn!" He yelled so everyone could hear him. "One for each of you, maybe two if you're not careful."

"Oh, we won't be careful," Jim growled. He captured Ryan in a passionate kiss. Suddenly, Jim's mouth began to feel strange. There seemed to be fangs growing over his teeth. Outside, he noticed the sun beginning to set. Ryan pulled away and Jim hissed at him.

"I know what you are," Ryan whispered.

"VAMPIRE!" Dwight shouted from across the room, pointing at Jim in the corner. He rushed to the cows stall and pulled out 13 guns, one for everyone.

"Why do you have these?" Meredith asked.

"I'm always prepared. The bullets are covered in garlic so they will incinerate him."

Dwight grabbed one of the guns as Jim ran out the back door, dragging Ryan close behind.

"Come back here you blood drinking freak!" Dwight shouted, running after him.

"Wait, aren't you going to hand out the guns?" Meredith asked.

"What? No, I need them all. Any of you would be useless with one of these."

Outside, Jim and Ryan were standing under a tree, Jim's naked body sparkling under the moonlight.

"I want to be with you. I want to be like you." Ryan breathed.

"Are you sure?" Jim asked and Ryan nodded quickly.

Jim kissed Ryan once more before moving down to his neck and sinking his teeth in.

"There you are!" Dwight shouted as he emerged from the barn, 10 guns in hand (1 for each finger and 3 for backup). Ryan was starting to pass out as he heard the first gunshot.

When he woke up, he was surrounded by dead bodies. Everyone from the orgy was killed in a hail of gunfire.

"Gotta make sure we don't spread the disease," Dwight muttered as he approached him, gun in hand.

"No! Not Jim! He's the love of my life!" Ryan sobbed, looking at Jim's lifeless body next to him.

"Can't take any chances," Dwight said as he pointed the gun at Ryan and pulled the trigger.


End file.
